Dearest Gentle VG Reader,

A trip to the Spanish Town Seaport these days is enough to put any sensible Virgin Gordan on high alert.

For those unfamiliar, DEFCON 1 stands for Defense Readiness Condition, a military scale used by the United States. DEFCON 1 is the highest level — meaning nuclear war is imminent and everyone should probably start saying their prayers.

While we are not quite expecting missiles at the ferry dock, a visit to the Spanish Town Seaport certainly demands the highest  level of vigilance, planning, situational awareness, and survival instinct.

The adventure begins with the simple task of finding a parking space. *Sometimes there are none.*

Well, technically there are some, but it appears that many have been claimed by port employees who occupy them with the determination of a trushee protecting her nest. Who can blame them cause as soon as they pull out for lunch someone else pulls in. Some are even claimed by people like me who operate a car rental company as we like to provide guests with the convenience of jumping into their rental vehicle on arrival. LOL - I’m a trushee too!!

Common sense might suggest that employees could park over by the warehouse area. It would free up spaces for the travelling public and visitors who are actually using the port.

But apparently too many protocols to even consider it for a few days to see if it might just work. 

So there you are, circling endlessly like a frustrated shark, searching for a parking spot while watching the ferry departure time creep closer.

Then comes the next challenge - The members of the RVIPF  Gestapo who target unsuspecting and sometimes latecomers!!!! 

They don’t target  the scooters weaving through traffic at alarming speeds scaring some of us half to death. 

They don’t target trucks manoeuvring like they own the hillside roads. 

Nor do they target the forklifts nor big trucks  playing Russian Roulette and intimidating the security  officers  with curse words that haven’t even been invented yet.  

*NO!!!*

The easiest target is the desperate traveller who parks in a taxi or handicap space hoping for a bit of luck. Those tickets are issued quickly and without hesitation. 

*Why chase a moving vehicle when a parked one is guaranteed?*

But I digress.

Once you finally secure a parking space somewhere far beyond the immediate area, the real drama  begins-

The walk or breakneck run  to the ferry in the blazing sun! 

*I call it ‘Navigating The Gauntlet’*

Will you be struck by a car? A truck?  A tractor trailer? An  excavator? A forklift? A wobbly luggage cart?

Or possibly by another human being on that mad dash to get on the boat!! 

 Nobody knows.

Every crossing is unpredictable.

Then there are the flatbeds loaded with enough lumber to build a small development. As they pass, one can’t help but wonder how secure the load really is - especially when they need to navigate the two dips inside the port gates. 

*Friday is when the difficulty level increases.* *DEFCON 1*

And heaven help us if a cruise ship is in port along with Sammy’s and Chalwell barges. Add to that Speedys Ferry, Road Town Fast Ferry and add the day tripper boats from St. Thomas. 

Now you must navigate safaris, visitors, taxis, rental vehicles, delivery trucks, ferry passengers, departing passengers, arriving passengers, and confused tourists wondering why they are walking through what feels like an active mine field in the Strait of Hormuz. 

It becomes less of a ferry terminal and more like a reality challenge.

A live-action version of Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible or Wesley Snipes in The Contractor as they both bob and weave from the bad guys!!

Yet somehow, resiliently we manage. 

We weave.

We dodge.

We hurry.

We hope.

And eventually we make it aboard the ferry.

*If we can successfully navigate the Spanish Town Seaport on a busy day, I would argue we are qualified for just about anything.*

Until next time, Gentle Reader if you are headed that way today or any other day -

Stay alert,  Look right - Look left - and then repeat, keep your body poised to pivot cause you never know - and remember:

*At the Spanish Town Seaport, high alert isn’t just a concept. It’s a necessity.*